I read a quote once that said, "Friendship is like a book. It takes years to write but just a few seconds to burn". I find that quote to be very true. Especially when it comes to the relationships women have with one another. Friendships between women seem so different from the ones that men develop. Women often have deep bonds with their girlfriends. They tell their innermost secrets, share their insecurities with one another, offer each other support, trade stories and compare their lives. You may talk on the phone for hours over something as silly and random as a reality show. We also like to vent (or complain) and spend years venting and listening to one another. When you have a good friend, you support her when she's sad, you back her up when she's mad and you are just as happy when she's glad. It's a very deep connection and I get the sense that most men's connections aren't as deep. Or at least they have us think that.
Friendships can be very beneficial to your health. It's cathartic to talk and share your feelings and having a good friend means lots of laughter. But when a friendship is tested or there is a strain between two women, things can change very quickly. The person you once thought of as a sister, has now hurt you or made you angry. Depending on your personalities, you may fight it out, you might write your friend to tell her how you're feeling, you might make passive-aggressive comments to one another, or worse, ignore the person you called a friend. Friendships are made in a matter of seconds and can last a lifetime. But they can also end just as quickly as they were made. I have witnessed my own friends go from being best friends to enemies. It can happen in the blink of an eye. All that time and effort you put into that other person is gone. All those marathon phone calls, all the endless emails or heart to hearts are now a thing of the past. I have witnessed it between others and have also experienced it personally. The loss of a friendship or breakdown of one can be very stressful. Sometimes we may even greive the loss of a friendship as though the person has died.
Women are complex and fascinating creatures. We can be very loyal, nurturing and supportive. But cross us and we'll have your head! Two women fighting one another is also the stuff dreams are made of. It is at the top of some men's fantasies. They always want to see us fighting and clawing at one another.......hoping some clothes will get ripped off during the fray. Of course that isn't what really happens when we fight. That only happens on the Spike TV channel or Two and a Half Men. When women fight with one another, it isn't pretty. It's sad and it hurts. Those claw marks dig really deep into your heart. It's not pillow fighting and bras flying in the air. It's hurt feelings and a sense of rejection or betrayal.
So, have you ever had a friend turn into a frenemy? If not, consider yourself lucky. If so, how do you solve this problem?